moses and buckwheat days
today i went to a seminar about youth and children’s ministry and came away with it pretty down. it was a really good couple of hours with good things to say. nothing i probably haven’t heard, but usually a great reminder and encourager to get to the job at hand. however, there are just some days where those things hit you right in the heart and it’s not so good. sometimes keeping pace in ministry and doing all you see is necessary or you want just seems too overwhelming, sometimes it just feels like there is no way to make it all happen. sometimes i just really wonder why on earth God would pick me or think i could be used to help others when i can be such a wreck. some days i feel like moses did… why me Lord? you’re joking when you want to use me, right?
the world is changing so much, spiritual living seems way down on the list of things anyone cares about, kids are drifting farther away from God, not many parents seem like they want to jump in and help and time seems to be slipping through my hands. and that’s just the short list, my longer list of insecurities and worries would be too depressing. aarrgg!
instead of moses, i would much rather get back to feeling like buckwheat. “here i is!” he was always ready to do what the kids were doing. [samuel might be a more appropriate biblical reference with the same attitude, but i loved buckwheat from the little rascals] i would rather feel that way when God calls, jumping up and saying here i is Lord. i’ll be back there mentally in a few days, but for now, i’ll shed a few tears, feel sorry for myself, get upset at the culture, not sleep well and then get over it and back at it. it is a really great calling, just overwhelming at times!