u t h p s t r
in His grip, thankfully!

wandering

so my first weekend in so cal leaves me wandering.  basically these two weeks will leave me restless and in flux.  i spent an hour this morning wandering the town looking for a quiet place to study and decompress after the week of classes.

here’s what i mean…

even though i’m staying at my parents house for the bulk of the time and my sister’s house this weekend, i’m not settled.  i have no place or space of my own, no place of my own and very little quiet.  even though i’ve been in the car alone for at least 15 hours this week, that is not really being alone and relaxed.  being in my parents house [which is not the house i grew up in] means people around and some level of investment in conversation and communication.  same at my sisters.  my nieces are thrilled i’m there but it’s different because you have to be “on” all of the time and i dearly want to spend time with them, but it becomes very difficult when you need some down time, research time or time to study.

so next year for my travel here i think i will need to consider rearranging these two weeks.  maybe do all the visitation from the get go and then just focus on school the two weeks.  maybe finding a hotel on the middle weekend would help too.  something to think about.  i love seeing everyone and trying to catch up with as many people as practically possible, but i’m not going to blow the opportunity i have by going back to school

so now i sit in the library in a great room decompressing a little bit.  writing a little , reading, listening to music and just being alone.

it’s strange how your needs and tastes change over the year.  just being alone and quite is such a huge value.  and the nice thing is that dawn and i have figured out how to do that well with each other.  one more reason she is my “only one”, my soul mate and an incredible blessing of God to me.

pax: ty

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